I don’t know where I came across this, but it’s witty as fuck (via octagon-surgeon)
“Cracker von Patriarch” is my new name for everyone who is a douche.
It was on Tiger Beatdown, by snobographer.
I LOVE THIS MORE THAN IS RATIONAL OR MAYBE EVEN HEALTHY. Cracker von Patriarch. *snorfle*. Deity of your choice bless you, OP. Because it’s things like these that continue to convince me that our species deserves not to die in a towering inferno or anything like that. *hearts*
Happy memorial day.
hm, I’m not sure what I am now…the best and the brightest right?
We’re not humans. We’re terrorists. Amirite?
Well, if Iraquis are not considered human by representatives of the government (which is what military personnel are, right?) then I’m thinkin’ that they shouldn’t have to pay taxes or be held legally accountable for anything in America. That stuff only applies to humans, right?
I recorded this on my cell phone because I could not believe what I was hearing. A middle-aged couple with their son are discussing Jared Lee Loughner.
Middle-aged man in an American flag t-shirt and cowboy hat ranting to his wife: “You know what’s crazy? That guy that shot the senator, they found him insane! I tell you what, there’s no way he’s crazy, he planned everything. He’s a left wing loony!”
Wife: “Now you can’t guess the political party of a loony, honey, I’m sure…”
American flag guy, cutting her off: “Nuh-uh, I seen it on Law and Order: Los Angeles! They take all the stories from the news! He was a union guy! A video game nut! I saw it! *gets louder* He threatened her with ‘Second Amendment remedies’ - it was all on the show!”
American flag guy: “Yeah! I’m telling you honey, this is what happens when they tell kids they can’t pray, and they let girls wrestle in a Judeo-Christian country with good conservative Christians. You don’t hear anything about the shooting anymore because it was a left-winger that shot a republican in Arizona!”
Son: “Dad, I’m not sure everything on the show is real, it’s just a show…”
American flag guy, now cutting him off: “Then why does it say ‘ripped from the headlines’ smartass? Watch your mouth before we change our minds about you going to a public university! I’d homeschool you for college too, if I could.”
I had to leave at that point. Dad and son continued to argue about whether or not Law and Order and its various spin-offs are real. I could not believe people like this exist, and this is why Sarah Palin believes she could be president.
i really relate to this.
may have reblogged the video this quote comes from awhile back, but i think the quote is great on it’s own, too.
THIS. I should find the video and post it because it’s a good watch.