“Dude, you’re so edgy and politically incorrect. it’s totally ironic and satirical how you regurgitated those ancient and threadbare stereotypes. It reminds me of my great great great great grandpa, Cracker von Patriarch, who also challenged the status quo by embracing it with loving tenderness.”—
I don’t know where I came across this, but it’s witty as fuck (via octagon-surgeon)
“Cracker von Patriarch” is my new name for everyone who is a douche.
I LOVE THIS MORE THAN IS RATIONAL OR MAYBE EVEN HEALTHY. Cracker von Patriarch. *snorfle*. Deity of your choice bless you, OP. Because it’s things like these that continue to convince me that our species deserves not to die in a towering inferno or anything like that. *hearts*
“True beauty is celebrating inner qualities such as individuality, energy, compassion, intelligence, humor and having that spark of light behind the eyes. True beauty connects all these things to reflect the real beauty within.”—from Psychologies mag (via lovelyasadream)
hm, I’m not sure what I am now…the best and the brightest right?
We’re not humans. We’re terrorists. Amirite?
Well, if Iraquis are not considered human by representatives of the government (which is what military personnel are, right?) then I’m thinkin’ that they shouldn’t have to pay taxes or be held legally accountable for anything in America. That stuff only applies to humans, right?
I recorded this on my cell phone because I could not believe what I was hearing. A middle-aged couple with their son are discussing Jared Lee Loughner.
Middle-aged man in an American flag t-shirt and cowboy hat ranting to his wife: “You know what’s crazy? That guy that shot the senator, they found him insane! I tell you what, there’s no way he’s crazy, he planned everything. He’s a left wing loony!”
Wife: “Now you can’t guess the political party of a loony, honey, I’m sure…”
American flag guy, cutting her off: “Nuh-uh, I seen it on Law and Order: Los Angeles! They take all the stories from the news! He was a union guy! A video game nut! I saw it! *gets louder* He threatened her with ‘Second Amendment remedies’ - it was all on the show!”
American flag guy: “Yeah! I’m telling you honey, this is what happens when they tell kids they can’t pray, and they let girls wrestle in a Judeo-Christian country with good conservative Christians. You don’t hear anything about the shooting anymore because it was a left-winger that shot a republican in Arizona!”
Son: “Dad, I’m not sure everything on the show is real, it’s just a show…”
American flag guy, now cutting him off: “Then why does it say ‘ripped from the headlines’ smartass? Watch your mouth before we change our minds about you going to a public university! I’d homeschool you for college too, if I could.”
I had to leave at that point. Dad and son continued to argue about whether or not Law and Order and its various spin-offs are real. I could not believe people like this exist, and this is why Sarah Palin believes she could be president.
“My late father was in Auschwitz, my late mother was in Madjanek concentration camp. Every single member of my family on both sides was exterminated. Both of my parents were in the Warsaw Ghetto uprising. And it’s precisely and exactly because of the lessons my parents taught me and my two siblings that I will not be silent when Israel commits its crimes against the Palestinians. And I consider nothing more despicable than to use their suffering, and their martyrdom to try to justify the torture, the brutalization and the demolition of homes that Israel daily commits against the Palestinians; So I refuse any longer to be intimidated by the tears- if you had any heart in you, you would be crying for the Palestinians.”—
“This crucial guide to women’s health gets older but not less useful. It features a well organized resource with a clear index of health problems along with remedies. Also contains a glossary of herbs and their properties. A very handy resource to share with a friend in need.”
A must read for anyone with a vagina! It’s totally informational and educational (without being condescending!), empowering and filled with darn cute illustrations. By far the most important pdf on my computer right now.